Welcome To A Road Less Traveled

I am sitting here half in tears for this girl and half in anger at a society that does nothing to protect those who are different. This film is being shown on Lifetime Television and will be shown again Friday, June 30th at 9 pm. This is one of the most tasteful and accurate depictions of what transgenderal people go through I have seen.

For years I did not embrace transgenderal people because they were different than I. Imagine that... A lesbian not embracing someone who is different. In retrospect I believe it was because I simply wanted to fit in the best way I could.. Even if that expense was at the loneliness and hurt of others. Then, about 2 or 3 years ago I met the most wonderful transgenderal person at church and it changed all of that. I adored both her and her partner. They since have had a Holy Union and it is recognized in the courts by default. I am glad I took the time to embrace them and get to know them. They are two I will always have fond memories of; Even though I have moved away.

Then we move onto the hate crime aspect of all of this... I look at how easily this could have been my friend who lives in the south. At times I believe the south is actually more tolerant than California... Even in the Midwest in Wyoming the courts convicted Matt Shepard's assailants of a hate crime. Why in California in 2005 did these young men not get convicted of a hate crime? It makes no sense!!

I look back over the years at the fear we have had to live under. I admire those that were brave enough to truly come out of the closet. For myself, until recently, I truly cheesed out. No More!! There is so much to do to gain the rights for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgenderal people... So much to do that I find it overwhelming on where to start. However I would suggest to anyone who wishes to start to make this difference is To Thine Own Self Be True. If enough of us have the courage to do this, it is bound to have a dominoe effect on society. Blacks, Hispanic, and other minorities did not generate by change in silence. I once coined the term No I Will Not Be Silent - For In My Silence There Is No Change! Although that was written during my advocacy as a survivor, it certainly fits the bill here. Regardless if it is the government, organized religion, the workplace, or the citizens in a community, making examples out of people is the most effective way of silencing the rest that I know of. To get the courage generated in numbers we need during the political climate regarding G/L/B/T people today is going to be more difficult, but I believe this is what must be done to incorporate change, tolerance, and eventual acceptance.

I can so relate to Gwen, in spite of not have Genderal Identity to deal with. I remember all the years of watching people be terminated from work, set up at work, and belittled at work... It brings me to a time where I was working at a small company in Pasadena on contract. A mother and daughter team started making comments to get me to bite, which I bit my tongue for weeks. Finally one day they stated that Aids was God's punishment to the Gay community. I stood up and said.... Well... If xyz percent of Straight men have aids... And xyz percent of straight women have aids... And xzy percent of bisexual women have aids... And xyz percent of bisexual men have aids... And xyz percent of gay men have aids... And lesbians only have xyz percent... Does this make lesbians God's Chosen People? Within a half hour I was terminated. It was ok for them to carry on for weeks in the background to make me feel bad... Oh well!!!

I also remember Eedie who was a hair dresser in Oakland. I cannot remember the name of the nightclub she was at, but we all called it menapause manor in those days as it contained lesbian's that were much older than we were. Who would have thought we would be in those age brackets someday. Eedie used to go to Happy Hour each day on her way home from work. One night the bar was targeted because it was a lesbian bar and only women. In the process Eeedie was shot and killed. If I remember correctly very little was done to the man that did this. More was made out of all the women who chased him down the street and caught him than what he had done to Eedie.

There was also Jim, who lost his partner. I had known Jim for many years. They were leaving a nightclub in San Francisco and Jim's partner was stabbed and killed as they left. By people who go out of their way to kill a faggot and win a medal, as we used to say in those days. I heard later that Jim just held his friend in his arms and sobbed watching the life slip right out of him. In those days the options of where to go were limited and if we were to meet people we had to put up with nightclubs that were in areas which left us less than safe and secure.

It is hard to look back over the years and see how many gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgenderals have had to suffer the consequences of the rath of society, much less the alienation of the families of origin. What makes this even more painful is to watch movies like the one I posted on here, only to find out that the very 12 jurors we trusted to right a wrong minimized the crime and blamed it on society instead of the thugs that murdered Gwen.

I have personally known victims of hate crimes in our community, but know even more who have been ostracized. It is disheartening at best.

So much to say on this topic I may have to come back to it later...