Welcome To A Road Less Traveled

For some time I have wondered who the leading nation is and if we have lost footing worldwide. I have suggested this in more than one blog entry that China is now the leading nation. Well yesterday, there was a Fox News article in regards to North Korea Turning over its completed reports to China, and China would in turn pass it on to the other nations. Ö¿Ö. This is one step further to confirming my belief China is now the big Honcho worldwide. Here is a link to one of the articles I found. While this appears subtle and most will miss it, my hunch is we will see an increase of the presence of China.

Reflecting over the past year, I have come to realize the way I am viewing life, myself, and others is changing. I have come to realize the quality of our life is about choices... The choice to let go of the old... The choice to invite healthier people into our lives... The choice not to set ourselves up... Or even something as simple as the choice to concentrate on the good in a person, as opposed to their downside... Now of course that does not mean remain immersed with those who have chosen to spend their lives in a victim role with no rays of sun in sight.

I believe it was Rita Mae Brown who once said "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." While I have heard this over the years, I don't believe it really struck home as to how true and profound this statement is. It is in recent times I have learned this to be true. For example, for years I defined myself as not worthy if I were not in a relationship. I continued to settle out in order to be in a relationship and would give up what I was doing for others. Of course, it would result in another failed relationship and I would be back to square one starting my adult life over. Some time later, usually when I was finally getting something going for myself that was positive, I would attract someone else and would do the same thing again. Well the thing is, when I have something going for myself, and I am positive and happy, I am going to attract others. When I am living life in a victim role, others are going to scatter if they are in fact healthy.

I finally broke out of the relationship addiction mold late last summer. For the first time I did not give up myself or what I was doing for others. While I stayed in it long enough to rain on my financial parade for a few months, I have actually begun to see daylight from this too. I voted with my feet and told them they could not live here. But I still have my home, I still have my sanity, and I did not forfeit my plans of laying a foundation for security for myself.

Recently, someone who I was actually interested in years ago and was not interested in me at that time began to show an interest... I found myself leery and remembered they had lived their life in chaos and in victim mode when I once knew them. One of my friends felt I should embrace them into my life and consider having a relationship with them. I expressed my concerns to my friend and told them I would try to keep an open mind and give them room for having achieved possible growth over the years. Well this person began to call me more and as time went by the calls began to deteriorate and seemed to be centered around how the world has done them wrong, how their family has done them wrong, and still in the place of not making the necessary adjustments to move past all this. In reality they were on the same page they were many years ago.

I finally found myself speaking up asking them if they had sought out counseling and told them the only thing they could change in the equation was themselves. I found myself uncomfortable as time had progressed because I realized this was me not all that long ago. I had been living my life in a victim role for a very long time and it took grabbing myself by the heels and making one foot step in front of the other to discontinue living life this way.

I do know one thing for certain; I am happy living my life alone and I do not define my self worth today by being with another person. I have few friends, but the friends I do have live life in a positive way and are self empowered. I no longer measure my self worth by how many friends I have, but rather the quality of the few friends I have. I don't have much in monetary things, but the things I do have are truly me and not to impress others...

I don't spend my life working with survivors anymore, for in reality they were content living their lives in victim roles. I was simply the sounding board, while in reality we were fueling one another. Actually, I have come to the realization the term survivor is really rhetoric and is politically correct jargon. While one may survive trauma or inadequate care as a child, thriving comes with the willingness to let go, the willingness to forgive, the willingness to create a meaningful life for ourselves. Hence; Self Empowerment must come into play for us to have productive lives. That cannot come with pointing our fingers at everyone else for the failures in our own lives. We must address our own role in everything we do if we are going to reap the benefits of continued growth. While my life is not perfect and I have a long ways to go to overcome bad habits and ways of living my life, my life is nothing like it was when I was living it in this way..

I have come to learn that self empowerment is not about pleasing others or getting the needy puppy dog pat on the head for how well I am doing. If I am truly self empowered, and I believe I have finally gotten there, the rewards will show in every aspect of my life and a pat on the head will not be important. Those I used to seek the pat on the head from were indeed self empowered and they were not seeking pats on the head from others.

I am doing well now, and I know I will attract others who like what they see and want what I have. However their happiness and self empowerment has to come from inside them and if they are trying to achieve what I have through being with me, it cannot work. This falls true in reverse as well... I cannot find my happiness and wellness through another. It must come from within or is doomed for failure.

So I guess I will pass on my crush from many years ago.. I have to remind myself not to try to counsel them, as their growth can only come from hard work and choices to move their life forward. I can love them and care about them on a more sparing level and in a Christian way. I have suggested to them they may wish to seek out counseling.

So here's to continued growth, continued changes, and positive thinking. Here is to forgiving others, forgiving myself, making better decision, and continuing my path to Self Empowerment.

I think many of us have strived for personal growth or whole person growth as depicted in the above wheel. Each category gets streamlined to our lives in where we live, who our families and friends are, and our spiritual paths. Profession to one, may not be the same as profession to others. Yet each of us contain a different threshold physically, so our needs will be very different. I too have gone through many of these changes. Some of the changes were inherant of some of my choices, while others I sought to change.

While still a work in progress, I believe I have made many of the changes that were necessary for me to become a fuller person. I am glad I worked so hard on these goals, for the times they are a changing!! I look around at people's lives and inward at my own life. We are all going to have to be able to adapt and reincorporate our ways of doing things with the current times and the progression towards rougher times many of us have ever known.

For me, emotional strength and maturity is going to have to come into play as this will no longer be optional if I am to survive.

Yesterday someone told me they quit their job. I looked a tad perplexed and asked them why.. They stated after paying for gas for their midsized vehicle that they come home with $150.00 a month and can no longer afford to go to work. Instead, they are going to garage sale from their home until they can figure out what to do. I asked where they got their inventory.. They stated they are having to sell their personal belongings in order to pull through this until a minimum wage job at home could be secured. Gas is now $4.00 per gallon and no end in sight for it to either go down or stop surging.

For myself, I finally gave in and traded my utility trailer for a motorcycle that was not all that new, but will do what I need it to do FOR NOW. But how long will it be before I can no longer afford to ride the motorcycle? Someone told me I am going to get myself killed, and my answer was.. At least that is a lot quicker than starving to death or burning up in the heat in my home.

Yet another online friend wrote a blog entry called Empty Wallet. She stated at the rate it is going with the 20% increase at the grocery stores created by the fuel prices, she will be a homeless senior person in less than three years.

For myself I had put my electric bill on an average of $94.00 per month.. This lasted two months when they raised the average to $128.00 per month. So where does that stop? How much longer will I be able to hold out. Well I suppose I can keep selling things at the flea market, but how long will it be before there will be no buyers there? Afterall, this takes money and gas.. People cannot afford to go..

One solution I have come up with for my senior friends and those with disabilities is I have acreage and perhaps if they were to get travel trailers they could pay me a moderate amount to live here. It is a thought, but the problem will be septic tanks for each of them. Or perhaps portable buildings we finish off into living quarters. It is a better option than the streets and I am more than willing to concider this for the right people. Perhaps communal living from the late 60's and early 70's will have to become a part of the baby boomers lives. It is clear the government is not going to be there for us..

At first I wanted to blame Bush for the gas crisis and that he was over inflating them. Perhaps this is not the case, but it is Middle East warfare and will do more harm than bombing America. Perhaps this is unorthodoxed sanctions against the United States for the role we have played in the Middle East and defying the wishes of the United Nations. I am not certain and these are only speculations, but the current regime certainly did not win world friends or support, but I do think they influenced people and not in a positive way.

What I do know is we are in trouble. I have no answers for myself other than to shave back, and shave back I have. I have cut out cable TV, I have cut the cell phones to bare minimum and may have to concider dropping them altogether. I have placed myself at risk by buying a motorcycle, but the options far outweigh the risks.

I am sad because we no longer live in the America we once knew. Service jobs that older Americans can do have been given to India and other once Third World Nations.. Manufacturing now belongs to China and the influx of products is shotty at best. We were once the leading nation and while I cannot be certain, China is now the leading nation. They will enjoy all we once took for granted.

The middle class in this nation will now become the poor and the poor will now become the throw-aways. What will happen from here? I do know the older single folks or the disabled must ban together and start buying acreage that is non-zoned so we can collectively pull through this. It seems like the only logical answer. This is where we are all going to have to learn to get along.

I know of folks who once lived in upscale homes now living in old travel trailers. How sad is that? Collectively, perhaps we can increase hope for those who are going through what we are.

Well heres to mobility.. At least for now