Welcome To A Road Less Traveled

Over the last few weeks, plans have been being made for me to go to Connecticut to get Moe out of the Medical Examiners Office. I did not talk about this prior to going as I did not think it would be wise to put it on the www that I was not going to be home.

I flew in on Monday and closed out Moe's apartment on Tuesday. There was not much to do as she truly had been living as a minimalist.

My niece picked me up at the airport on Monday and it was so fun to see her all grown up and living an adult life. She is absolutely spunky and delightful. One of the things I like about her is she is so up front and there is no guesswork as to how she is feeling about various topics.

also on Tuesday I contacted the Funeral Home who had told me it would not be an issue not getting their money up front. As it turns out they are a bait and switch type of Funeral Home that waits until the 13th hour to let you know they want all money up front. I stayed an extra day to find a funeral home who would work with me. I found one and they were wonderful. While my original plans were to bring Moe home with me after she was cremated, I will have to have her mailed to me. I wanted to take her on one last road trip. I know it sounds dumb perhaps, but it is a sentimental thing with me.

After I finished all that I rested for the night and drove back on Thursday morning. I drove 800 miles on Thursday and finally caved in and got a room. The seat was not comfortable to try and catch a few hours on and be rested. Friday I finished up my drive and arrived home a little after four in the afternoon.

The drive was a good thing. It gave me time to reflect back on the life of a friend I call Moe. Moe was perhaps one of the most complex women I have known in my life. I feel a sense of relief that I was able to do this for her and to finally have gotten it done. I still have to sort out her financial affairs and give an accounting to the judge.

When I got home I did as much as I could for now to contact her friends which were on her cell phone. I have placed a temporary suspension on the cell phone until the death certificate arrives. They will then remove the account completely. I hope I have not missed anyone.

I don't have much more to say right now, but will share more when I finishing with the financial affairs. What I have learned through this is there are a lot of complications in even getting bill balances. Without a death certificate I have gotten nowhere. However I will have that within 10 days. I paid for and placed all the legal ads that Connecticut required on Wednesday.

I actually worked Saturday. Then I went to church this morning and worked this afternoon.

For those who helped me make this happen, I wish to thank you. For without your help this would not have been possible. For all of us who cared about a friend we all called Moe (Gentle Touch) just know this has been taken care of and she is in a much better place. For all the hurts and pains she has had in her life, she is now whole and is not suffering anymore. Through this process I found there were several who truly cared about her and had been concerned.

While I am relieved, I have an ache in my heart. I have been so numb with this over the last few weeks and have just gone through the daily motions I am supposed to and have not grieved her loss yet. It seems surreal I won't have her calling me anymore. No more Merry Christmas', no more Happy Birthdays, and no more just catching up in general. And did I forget no more pranks? Ö¿Ö Another piece of me is missing. Moe was one of the last constants in my life. I was teary the day I heard about it, but today I cried for the first time whereas I could not hide my feelings in front of others.

I won't stay immersed in this. One thing I got from all this is we have but one life here on earth and I want to spend what I have left of it to its fullest. I will allow myself time to feel, grieve, and heal. I imagine I am right where I am supposed to be under the circumstances. God has been there through all of this and will help me through my grieving process.

I think something else I got from this is a renewal of my stance on embracing those who march to a beat of a different drum. I took the time to get to know someone who ran to the beat of a different drum. In doing so, I gained so much from this experience; The gifts were many. We talk about tolerance amongst different cultures and spiritual beliefs. Moe taught me tolerance. But she taught me much more than tolerance; She taught me acceptance and forgiveness as well. She taught me not to throw the baby out with the bath.

Thanks for listening
Lorretta