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Friday, March 27, 2009
Memories of the People In My Life..
Tonight I would like to write about the greater things in life… That would be the memories and treasures of the people I have met over the years. It was easy over the years to discount these very same people who have in one way or another touched my life. It is not of any single greatness I love these people and appreciate these people but with collective greatness as to the joy they have brought into my life; something as simple as a little smile, or perhaps an awkward moment that may have touched my heart. Or perhaps those who planned a surprise or even a prank I was not expecting. In other cases there have been those who have been in my life or crossed my path who neither of us had to say a thing, as we were attuned to each other in such a way we knew what one another was thinking. Ironically it is years later I have been gifted with the joy of the memories provided by these very people in my past.
There were those I dared to love and who dared to love me. They have never been forgotten. What has been forgotten were the reasons I found fault with them. With the passage of time I see only their goodness. I am so glad for this. There are so many memories of people I cherish so much.
Allowing people to love me, like me, and care about me without second guessing it has perhaps been the most difficult task of my recovery process of all. For after all, if they saw goodness in me, there must have been something wrong with them; an underlying belief I carried with me for so long. I hope to continue this section of my recovery and hope to be able to write about it someday with more ease and clarity. For now, I can appreciate these very people were indeed the greater things in my life. For the pain I bestowed on each of them for loving me and caring about me, I forgive myself. Hopefully, one day they can forgive me too.
There were those I dared to love and who dared to love me. They have never been forgotten. What has been forgotten were the reasons I found fault with them. With the passage of time I see only their goodness. I am so glad for this. There are so many memories of people I cherish so much.
Allowing people to love me, like me, and care about me without second guessing it has perhaps been the most difficult task of my recovery process of all. For after all, if they saw goodness in me, there must have been something wrong with them; an underlying belief I carried with me for so long. I hope to continue this section of my recovery and hope to be able to write about it someday with more ease and clarity. For now, I can appreciate these very people were indeed the greater things in my life. For the pain I bestowed on each of them for loving me and caring about me, I forgive myself. Hopefully, one day they can forgive me too.
About Me
- **Ya Think**
- Lodi, California, United States
- I was raised in Wyoming where the Small Town Environment never left my soul. I have returned to California after living several years in the South. I look forward to life here and am grateful for the opportunity to return home in such a magnificent way!! Thank you my dear friends who all made this possible
2 comments:
This is a good post. I guess just as human beings we do inflict pain sometimes as well as blessings on those we love, but that is life and all of us having "fallen" ancestors including Adam and Eve!
I read somewhere once that the greatest gift one can give a child is to teach them how to forgive.
For a lot of us, it is easier to forgive others than it is to forgive ourselves. Both so important to healing. And its a continuous proces, huh? And then sometimes we have to do it over again! And again.
No wonder the Bible spoke of love as being the "greatest of these" and also "covering a multitude of sins" - it really is true.
Anyway, I am so glad you are posting again - I think I keep posting as just part of a journal....
Oi - 40 degrees here to day after a whole week of rain. But its getting green and lush.
Better go get some breakfast ready for the boy critter - hope to make it to church.
Just thinking how life is - its pretty weird it takes us all our life to recover then we die - must be something awful special awaiting us up in heaven!